Friday 2 September 2011

Decisions, decisions!

This guy will love me no matter what I choose.

Right now, I have a lot of difficult decisions weighing on my mind.

As I referenced in yesterdays post, I have been considering leaving my volunteer position at the hospital.  I find myself very bored at the position and I have started to dread Thursday nights.  I work the 8-midnight shift - I used to be quite a night owl, but that has changed and midnight is way too late!  I know that I can request a shift change, but I don't want to ask for a new shift and then leave shortly after.  I have been at the position for a year and know that long term commitments are valued.  

The local distress centre has contacted me regarding an application that I have submitted and I have an interview with them next week for a crisis line volunteer position. I would not start until mid-October.  I do not plan on volunteering at the crisis centre and the hospital at the same time.  I want to leave the hospital now, but I think I should either wait a month or just suck it up and stay for the rest of the year.

I turned to the internet for advice.  Medaholic says 'doesn't matter [if you enjoy it], just do it!'  In contrast, Cal Newport (study hacks) abohrs the 'laundry list' of extracirruclars and reccomends a 'zen valedictorian' approach that is characterized by under-scheduling, focus and innovation.  I am torn between two big concerns: 1) my non academic portion of my medical school applications and 2) my sanity and enjoyment of life.

The other big decision that I am pondering is whether I should leave my job or not.  This was not an option until very recently, and it is a pretty cool possibility.  I have been at my job since 2005 and it makes up a significant portion of my non academic experience.  I work at a caring profession and am in a leadership position.  My employment is fairly accommodating with my education, and I am scared about not having an income.  All positives aside, I have been feeling very burnt out with my job for the past many months, and the politics have been grating at me.  It has become very clear to me that I am not a long term fit at the position.  I was planning on leaving this job in a year and had not really considered being unemployed this upcoming academic year.  Again, I am torn between the same two concerns: 1) nonacademic activities and 2) happiness.  Some financial things are being sorted out and then... well, I will have to make up my mind about what to do!

Recently, I read an interesting article about 'decision fatigue'.  Basically, the article talks discusses a concept called 'ego-depletion'.  Research suggests that we have a finite amount of willpower and that the decision making process is mentally taxing.  After making a lot of decisions (regardless of importance), we become fatigued and the quality of our decision making decreases.  So how am I going to make up my mind?  I think I will talk to a couple of friends and mentors, go for a run and then try not to think about it for the weekend.  I find that I make the best decisions if I sit on them for a while.  Assuming financing is in place, I will make up my mind on Tuesday and not any sooner!



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